I sat out in my yard today, just spring's warm early breath and me, a carefree sunshine insisting I keep still. There was oh-so-much to do. But it was Sunday and sometimes, maybe this one time, I chose to sit it out.
I'm a mover and shaker by nature. Perhaps I'm more. I'd venture to say I'm a DO-er. I saw that. You shrugged your shoulders. You crinkled a brow. So, you said. Aren't we all? Perhaps. Perhaps we've become a manic society, governed by the numbers on the clock or dictated by the numbers on our paychecks, our credit cards, our bank accounts, our bills. If this sounds at all familiar then maybe you are a Do-er, too. Symptoms vary but may include:
chasing, running, catching, writing, reading, walking, talking, waiting, cooking, cleaning, working, working, working, doing. I'm an i-n-g girl if ever there was one. How about you?
It's a way of life. It's a pitfall. Doing begets more doing. It's a dirty little trick. Before long you begin to recognize the slight of hand. And yet, the magic keeps you mesmerized Keeps you in line. Trapped. You promise yourself you'll stop doing right after you finish doing one more thing. You dangle the well-deserved break in front of your own eyes, like a 14-karat carrot, a promised reward for the doing, well-done. As sweet as it looks - as shiny and perfect - the Do-er may never take hold. Chances are there will be yet another thing to do that'll simply get in the way.
Sad? I suppose. Life? I suppose so, too. So there I sat, on this lovely spring Sunday, steady in the breeze, wondering if the very notion of that wondering meant that I will still doing. I thought about inviting a book to pass the time with me. But inviting was doing and so was reading. I closed my eyes and cleared my mind. I felt the air move around me, the sun's rays beat down on my body. Everything else went away. I did not sleep. I did not move. I sat it out.
Time and life are a precious commodity. It seems the further along I travel down both of these roads the more I recognize their limitations. The oh-so-much-to-do list will never cease. If anything it will grow longer and stronger. Some things will take precedence. They will urge me toward action and I'll go along willingly. I will be who I am, that Do-er, that i-n-g girl, because we are who we are in this world. Simple as that. And I'll hope, every now and then for a chance to stop. And I won't go smelling any roses since that's doing, too. I'll just be.