Saturday, July 23, 2011

Monkey Business - In the Doghouse...

When the thermometer scaled triple digits yesterday, I overheard a woman exclaim, "These are the dog days of summer!" Got me to thinking about the way we randomly toss innocent animals into our phrases, oftentimes imposing a dreadful fate. Poor dears. Why is a sweet little pup affiliated with the stifling heat? It's a head-scratcher. So I began to consider some of the other curious phrases I have not only heard or read but even repeated on occasion. These are some of the ones that bug me the most (oops, did I say bug?) You need only read them to figure out why.
Beat a dead horse - This is horrible. I much prefer to hold my horses, thank you.
More than one way to skin a cat - Hideous. Are we to assume that curiosity already killed it?
Kill two birds with one stone - More senseless animal cruelty. Perhaps we just flip the bird  instead?
Like a chicken with its head cut off - A headless chicken? For the love of God, why not just count them before they hatch?
Shoot the bull - Oh my. I suppose he's been rifling around the china shop again.
Cook your goose - This might occur after a long wild goose chase. Run, goose, run!
Like a lamb to slaughter - Sheesh. Why not just let the lamb shake its tail twice?
Sweating/eating/bleeding like a stuck/pig - All that oinking when they fly gets annoying.
Dead duck - Perhaps it stepped out of the row of other ducks.
Blind as a bat - Must have happened when he shot out of hell.
Dumb bunny - Just not quick enough, I guess.

I could go on. But, I'll let sleeping dogs lie. Or perhaps skulk away with my tail between my legs.
That's about enough monkey business for one day, right?

1 comment:

  1. When I moved south, my eyes were opened to many phrases the old southerns use. I still scratch my head about some, having to ask my southern husband the meaning. Here are few I can't help but laugh over, and yes, those poor old critters are in these too.

    "You look as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine."

    "I'm as mad as a wet hen!"

    "Well, tie me to a pig and roll me in the mud!"

    "She so ugly she could make a buzzard back off from a bucket of guts!"

    "He's a good ol'dog but sometimes he poops to close to the porch."