Saturday, July 14, 2012

What Goes Up

It's high time I face it. They say the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one, right? Well, Blogger is all about tackling the tough stuff today. And I'm not afraid to admit I'm afraid. Of what, you ask? (Queue the theme song from Jaws.) No, not Great Whites, although they rattle my nerves, too.
No, we're talking a more ferocious beast, one who often hides behind a facade of piped-in music and buttons all adorned in pretty bright lights. That's right.
The Elevator.
Terrifying, I know. It's like one of those bad horror flicks. I'll set the scene: Oblivious Woman Character has to get to the 14th floor. She wears a placid grin and aims for The Elevator. She presses the button and strums her fingers on her purse strap as she waits. Along IT comes, inviting her in so innocently, sliding its doors open in a wide-mouthed hello. Oblivious Woman ambles inside, (this is the part when somebody is yelling at the screen, "Don't go in there, lady!") But she doesn't hear. Once inside The Elevator doors roll closed. It's eaten her alive only she doesn't know it because she's being lulled by an instrumental version of Muskrat Love coming at her from the invisible speakers.
 She begins her ascent, checking her wristwatch to be sure she's on time for her appointment with her holistic healer. Little does she know there won't be any good karma in store for her today. All at once the gears begin to grind loudly. Oblivious Woman looks around. The Elevator slows up and then lurches to a screeching halt. OW releases a dainty expletive. After a few minutes without any sign of movement she reaches for the phone attached to the wall. Fool! Of course it doesn't work! She checks her cell. Naturally there's no reception. What did she expect? OW's heart starts racing. She calls out for help.
But nobody can hear her. She is trapped between the 12th and 13th floor. So close and yet hideously so far. Is there enough air in here, she wonders, as a cold sweat breaks out at her brow. The Elevator smirks. It has taken another victim. With any luck she'll panic and pass out before she's rescued. Perhaps she'll even perish for lack of adequate oxygen. The Elevator emits a treacherous laugh - (think Vincent Price in Thriller), claiming another innocent life.

And there you have it. The very valid, totally realistic reason this girl will opt for the stairs whenever possible.
Stay tuned for The Elevator - Part Two - where the cables fail and an unsuspecting rider plummets twenty stories to his tragic demise. 

No comments:

Post a Comment