Do you ever get the feeling you're trapped between where you are and where you're supposed to be? You know, wedged in that awkward, cramped, growing-out-of-your-shoes place. That stuffy, running-low-on-oxygen, throw-me-a-line place.
Let's call it Limboland.
It's a perpetual state of waiting. You can see things there, although they're a long way off. The best part is that they are in sight. The worst is that you can't quite reach them. Yet.
If you have no patience there you're basically screwed. No amount of mental maneuvers will help to quell the itch. You tell yourself it's a growth thing. You shake off the mood when it strikes and pull out the nearest mantra you can find; preferably one that can soothe you.
Like Joseph Campbell's words: We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.
You try your best to philosophize, be bigger, better than you feel deep down inside.
Wear your bravest face, your brightest, shiniest smile.
You can fool most of the people some of the time. But you can't fool yourself. Ever.
It's Limboland. The mirrors there point inward. The reflection is what you'd prefer not to see.
Mostly it's just about hurry up and wait. That age-weary conundrum.
2010's been a great deal of Limboland for me. That said, there were good moments. Some very, very good moments. Greasing-the-wheel moments.
And now my wish for 2011... I hope to set those wheels in motion and roll. Even if it's a slow roll. There's always 2012 to pick up the speed.
I long to leave Limboland behind. It's a great place to visit but you don't want to forward your mail there. It's best to pass right on through.