Can you dig it?

There's this new study that points out there just MIGHT be some connection between dirt and seratonin (ya' know that feel-good brain chemical thing.) The scuttlebutt goes that if you expose yourself to some of that stuff you work so hard to avoid, clean, and wash out from under your fingernails, you may be surprised to wind up a wee bit happier.
So let me see if I understand - am I to ingest a heeping helping, a tablespoon in the morning with an orange juice chaser? Should I sift out the worms or are they part of the magic? And where exactly am I supposed to acquire this dirt? Will there be a cropping up of health food stores with a new aisle specifically catering to the mud aficionado? Or is it wiser to cut out the middleman and buy wholesale right from your own backyard?
All kidding aside, I report these findings with the best of intent. I'm a big believer in the holistic remedy. We need only look toward the Mother of all things Natural to find the answers to some of life's most troubling dilemmas.
The gardeners, farmers and soil toilers of this world have no doubt known of this benefit for some time. And most five year olds, too. It wasn't so long ago that my son was a little boy whose sole purpose was to dig his way to China. He'd wile away hour after blissful hour in a pile of dirt bigger than he was then, smile firmly planted on his face.
I am pleased as punch with this scientific revelation. It's all about having an open mind and a daily romp in the earth's finest. Can you dig it?